d33tached | maskormenace

[ "Profoundly strange", meaning like a dumbass. Jesse knows and accepts this. He doesn't miss the way D33's face softens, though. Not a smile but not hard-faced, either. Like there's amusement tucked behind those hard, guarded eyes of his. Jesse relaxes into a smile for him. ]

Nah, you just gotta remember it's not literal, it's, like, not literally the bomb. It's, y'know, the bomb. Like... [ Sitting back in the booth, with hands coming up to theatrically act out his head exploding and making a explosion noise with his mouth at the same. ] So good, it blows your mind.

[So good it blows your mind. Well, D33 can relate to that emotion, at least. Pretty much every food he's tried in this world so far has had that effect on him. He shakes his head a bit, and now there is just the tiniest, tiniest hint of a smile on his face as he sucks down a bit of whipped cream through the straw.]

I must admit, Jesse. I find the food in this world to be positively superb. It's nothing like what I had the opportunity to experience in my own.

[ 'I know', Jesse almost replies without thinking. He dips down to take another sip of his drink to swallow that urge back, while looking at D33. Seeing what appears to be an actual smile almost glimmering right on the edges of D33's mouth is nice. Jesse wonders what D33 looks like when he smiles. ]

Yeah? Shit food back at home, huh? [ --oh. Halting from his next sip to correct himself. ] Uh, bad food, I mean.

Not necessarily.

[D33 takes another sip.]

We had access to food that provided the nutrients necessary to survive. Food such as this, however, [He gestures to the float.] would have been a great luxury.

I consider it to be such now. Truly.

[ Jesse idly dips his straw up and down in his float, stirring, listening to D33. He got a glimpse of this in D33's memories. Not in detail, but enough to know... Yeah. Enough. But he'd rather D33 decide what he wants to tell him than reveal that he knows far more than Jesse deeply suspects D33 would ever be comfortable with. ]

Man, so like... What do you call 'em. [ What's the word? —Oh, but then he remembers. ] Rations?

Meals...?

[D33 wrinkles his nose a little, speaking slowly as if to say, "What do you call the food you eat, stupid."]

No, I mean, like— [ An eyeroll as if to say, "Well, yeah, duh." ] Rations. Rationing out food 'cause there ain't much to around. [ Angling the straw back to his lips for another sip. ] The way you described having access to only stuff to survive sounded like that, anyway.

[D33 shakes his head, waving his hand a bit, dismissing Jesse's theory.]

There was more than enough food to go around, I can assure you. But the purpose of eating is to provide your body with nutrients.

It simply wasn't done for pleasure. There was no need for such things.

[No need for pleasure, that is. Start giving Numbers little privileges and they begin to get spoiled - or so had been God's logic.

[No, the rationing of food was all part of his control. He controlled what they ate, when they woke up and went to sleep, how they were to interact with one another, what they were to be called - everything that one could possibly control.

[No room for pleasure when you're facing your earthly trials, after all - such things were meant for Heaven.

[The thought very nearly has D33 rolling his eyes.]

[ Jesse takes a small, slow sip of his float while looking at D33, then absently returns to fidgeting the straw in a dabbing, up-and-down circle in the drink. God... and back home, in Jesse's world, before he got caught up in everything with Mr. White and Gus, he lived for nothing but pleasure. Excessive, reckless, hedonistic pleasure.

He still lives that way, really. Only it's not with senseless, irresponsible stupidity these days. More senseless desperation for escapism.

What he experienced in D33's memory was... horrific. Devastating, harrowing, grim unlike any grimness Jesse has ever known. A child, treated like a thing, like something that has no right to an identity, no right to joy, pleasure, happiness, love. A childhood.

His mouth twists into a poignant, lopsided line. Makes even more sense to Jesse now, listening to what D33 is saying, why he never reacts with pleasure to anything. Never lets himself just enjoy things. He doesn't let himself because he doesn't know how to do. Pleasure was tortured out of him, denied, forbidden. ]

Jesus. [ He draws in a contemplative breath and looks down at his drink, watching the straw dip in and out of the creamy drink. ] Winding up here musta been a huge shock.

[By the time Jesse speaks again, D33 has already begun to withdraw. He's probably said too much, he thinks, and he's known to recoil at any sign of sympathy for his situation.

[It's just food, he thinks. But he knows that it's more than that. And he also knows that sometimes he tends to reveal more about himself than he intended through his ignorance.

[He clears his throat, straightening where he sits a bit and abandoning his drink for a moment.]

Is it not for every ImPort?

Of course it was.

Yeah. [ Of course. Yeah, he realises, of course. It was a huge shock for Jesse, just as it is for everybody. D33's comment brings Jesse back to the present, because it's a valid point. ] 'Course, yeah. I just mean...

[ He trails off. It's a valid point D33 makes, but how many people have been in D33's situation? Well. Apart from Eleven. Jesus, Eleven. That poor little girl. She reminds Jesse of D33 - how she was reduced to a number, denied pleasure, just seen as a thing rather than a person. Experimented on. Jesse saw enough into her memories to get a strong realisation of this.

He puffs out a long, quiet breath through his lips. He decides to move away a little from that topic. This is shit D33 no doubt never likes thinking about. ]

How long you been here, anyway? I mean, if that's okay to ask.

[Oddly enough, just the simple gesture of Jesse actually asking if it's alright to ask-- Well, it goes a long way. Besides, it's not as if that information isn't readily available to anyone with access to the network's history.

[But, God...How long has it been, now?

[He has to take a second to think about it.]

Nearly five months, now.

[Five months? Somehow, it feels both longer and shorter than that at the same time.]

You don't recall, of course, but you're among one of the first people I ever spoke to in this world.

[He'd also seen D33's real name. At least D33 can be thankful that that has since been forgotten - or so he hopes.]

[ Jesse lets out a small, bittersweet huff of amusement under his breath, his mouth quirking up slightly. He doesn't recall, no. A Jesse of a different time, a different life. That stranger who is himself, yet is someone Jesse is still trying to fathom and figure out. ]

Yeah, I remember you saying that, a while back. Said I helped you out or something.

Yes, you did.

[He raises a brow at the man.]

I suppose perhaps I should thank you, given that.

[In true D33 fashion, he's much more interested in how Jesse will react to the concept than in actually thanking him. But it's a gesture all the same.]

Edited 2017-12-01 14:51 (UTC)

[ A self-deprecating roll of his eyes: that's how Jesse reacts. It's directed at himself, not D33. Another huff under his breath, and he reaches out for his float, which he picks up to bring to him for another sip. ]

Well. Whatever it was you needed help with - on behalf of previous me, I suppose: You're welcome.

The mirror net.

You do still know of it, don't you?

[Sip, sip, whipped cream mustache, wipe.]

...Mirror net?

[A look of surprise crosses over D33's face. Surely, he'd thought, some of Jesse's previous connections would have informed him. He'd seemed so well-informed before.

[He leans in a bit as he says this, speaking a little more softly than before.]

A mirror network. ImPorts who have access to it can create posts that will remain hidden from the government.

You're the first to have told me about it, only shortly after I arrived.

[ It's Jesse's turn for his brows to shoot up. He's sipping his drink, though that's quickly placed back on the table while he swallows, and he, too, leans forward, elbows propping on the table so he can lean in even further.

He, too, lowers his voice. Curious as all hell now. ]

For real? Hidden, like, completely from the government? Like a dark web kinda thing or something?

As far as I know. At the very least, that's the information that you gave me on the matter.

I've yet to utilize it myself, but I have seen others do so. Posts through the mirror net appear to be visible from the normal network, though only those with access can make those posts.

I... [ Huh? ] Visible through the normal network only to those who have access to the mirror network? Is that what you mean?

[The man shakes his head.]

All ImPorts can see posts made through the network. Not all can actually create them.

...How is that hidden from the government if it everyone can see 'em? Means the government can see 'em, too, if that's case, doesn't it? [ Unless... ] Unless you mean the government just can't tell who created 'em?

I'm only giving you what information you gave me, Jesse.

As far as I have been told, these posts are somehow hidden from the eyes of the government.

[He waves his hand a bit.]

As I've said, I've yet to utilize the network myself, but you might look into it yourself should the occasion arise which you might find it useful.

[ Well, it's useful information, that's for sure. Jesse's elbow prop onto the table and he wearily rubs his face, though. God, to think he was once a guy at the top of the criminal world here - a Star in the Constellation, the guy who knew everything and everyone. The guy who had all the inside information. And now he's just a chump trying to navigate through all this shit, trying to relearn the footsteps of his old self, trying not to step in the wrong direction or make a wrong move, lest he accidentally outs himself for something he has no actual clue about.

Luckily, that's when the pizza arrives. The waitress appears at their table with a huge pizza on a wooden slate, smothered in a criminal amount of cheese and bacon. Jesse quickly sits back with his hands dropping to his lap, flashing a perfunctory smile of thanks up at her. When she leaves, Jesse's attention sets onto D33. ]

Well. Guess I got some digging to do. Thanks, man, for the info. Dig in, man. [ A hand waved at the pizza, which smells incredible. He leans forward, though, elbows resting on the table again. ] Gotta ask, though... That was literally the only time we talked? Like, me helping you with the mirrornet thing or whatever?

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